For the serious pontiac enthusiast.
Today in The Garage
  1. 1984 Coupe
    A Sad Day
    Tracker Updated: 3/19/2003
    Gallery Updated: 3/25/2004
  2. 1985 GT
    Bringing it home...
    Tracker Updated: 3/25/2004
    Gallery Updated: 3/25/2004
  3. 1986 SE
    I know, I know...
    Tracker Updated: 3/29/2005
    Gallery Updated: 3/26/2004
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F i e r o J o e . c o m   P r e s e n t s
Are you double-clutching your titanium valve springs?
And other Go-Fast myths...

World's Worst Parts
      Welcome to the page that is dedicated entirely to the world's worst ideas for Go-Fast parts. Below you will find many parts. Some humorous, some serious, some just plain stupid. We hope you enjoy!
 V-Tec Stickers By: fierojoe
The Part Everyone has seen these stickers on just about every import from a VW Bug to a Hyundai. The classic V-Tec sticker signifies one of Japan's most feared powerplants available, the V-Tec Engine.
The Why Common knowledge among the population of the rice persuasion will tell you that the V-Tec sticker is worth about 20 to 40 horsepower for your car, be it a Civic, Supra, Mustang or even an Austin Mini.
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 Whale Tails By: fierojoe
The Part These are the classic dorsal fins that people have seemed to take a liking to. They are usually about 75 feet tall, and come complete with a rotating beacon for FAA aircraft warning compliance, which also doubles as a 3rd brake light.
The Why The practicality of such a fin is minimal. The only good use for the fin is to make truck drivers feel better by showing them that they are not only the ones haveing problems with low overpasses. A humanitarian effort, I am sure.
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 Front Bumper Air Scoops By: fierojoe
The Part These are the front bumpers that have the open jaw look that serves one purpose: Shoveling air into the engine compartment.
The Why Let's think about what this means in real life. The goal of a car like this is to go fast. To illustrate my point here, we are going to have to take a look at some basic physics.

    If you take a cross section of the car, you will find that cars are shaped basically like a wing. The quick synopsis is: When air hits the front of a wing, the air going underneath the wing stays a constant speed, but the air going over the top of the wing is accelerated, creating a lower pressure area above the wing, and therefore sucking the wing into the the lower pressure area. The general rule of thumb when dealing with a wing is this: 70% of the lift of a wing comes from the top.

How does this apply to a car?
    Ah. That's a great question. I'm glad I asked! When your car is cutting through the air, it too has the same effect. Drivers of an '84 Fiero that had so commonly lost it's front air dam, have noted that the car started to ride like a Caddy at about 105MPH. Why does this happen? Same principal as a wing. When the air hits the front of the car, the air moving over the top is accelerated, creating a low pressure area above the car, and a higher pressure area below it. This effect will tend to start lifting the car off of the ground.

What does this have to do with my front bumper?
    Yet again, another good question. Here's what will happen with an air intake of that size: The air will hit the front of the car, and be divided by the shape of the front bumper. The air that would have normally been pushed to the side is now forced into the engine compartment, and ultimately under the car. This does only one thing. It creates an even higher pressure area below the car, and therefor lifting the car farther off of the ground.

    To further illustrate my point, let's take note of a Winston Cup Stock Car. You will note that the front air dam is ALWAYS as low as Nascar stipulations will allow, and it is routine to close off as much of the air intake as possible. Why? To keep the air out from under the car. Now let's move to the back and look at the rear bumper. Notice how high the rear bumper is off of the ground? Why do you think that is? When a car moves through the air, it leaves a pocket of low pressure air behind it. Anyone in racing will call this effect the draft. By leaving the rear of the car so far open, the low pressure air behind the car will in essence "suck" the air from underneath the car, and thereby helping to "suck" the car to the ground.

Ok, Ok, Ok... So why are you telling me this?
    When you drive down the road and see a rice rocket that looks like Jaws, take comfort that your Fiero will be sturdier on the road at 120MPH (provided you have the GT front fascia).

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 4 Inch Exhaust By: fierojoe
The Part No rice rocket would be complete without this necessary modification to the exhaust system, the 4 Inch hole in the back of the muffler.
The Why Protruding out of the rear of the car, One swayed by the rice persuasion may have to even modify an existing rear bumper to accommodate a 4 Inch pipe coming out of the back of the muffler. Let me pose this single question: What advantage does this give the car?

    Let's analyze a standard rice exhaust. Coming from recently exploded fuel, we are thrusted out of the combustion chamber, through the standard porting of the head, out a most likely stock manifold, into 2 Inch exhaust pipe (if they are lucky) through the stock half-clogged converter, into the muffler (2 inch inlet) where the exhaust is cooled even farther, and the exhaust gasses now take up less volume, and where do they go? Out a huge hole.

So what does this do for them mechanically?

What does this do for them mentally?
    40 Horsepower and an additional 2,000 RPM on the redline.

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 Clear Tail Lights By: Corey '84 Fiero Owner
The Part Again, Another addition to you grocery getter to make it look faster. Ok,ok,ok at first I thought it was a slick idea when lexus first put it on there car. but then you get these idiots that decide that it would look cool on there mini van when dropping there kids off at school. Come on get real!
The Why why a bad part? Lets see you can buy them for any vehicle you can think of, Why would you want something everyone else including their grandmother has, And if you think it looks good on your black car think again! they only look half way decent on white vehicles ( just my opinion)
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 Hydraulics By: Joshua The Samurai
The Part Hydraulic pumps installed underneath your car giving you the ability to ruin your suspension while sitting still
The Why Alright, the Samurai's gonna poke fun at a fairly popular part, but I can do that because I am the Samurai. Hydraulics on a car serve no practical purpose whatsoever. IN what situation in life do you need you car to bounce up and down slightly on it's front tires? Does it make you care faster? Better looking? More interesting? If hydraulics were cheap that would be one thing, but for 3000 big ones I want my car to do more that bounce up and down. For that much the damn thing better fly or transform into a robot or something.
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 Neon License plate lights By: Joshua The Samurai
The Part Bluish or Greenish lights surrounding your license plate, giving it a soft, other-worldy glow
The Why Let's analyze you typical Rice rocket: They surely are highly supercharged (they have to be to even come close to toping a Fiero's Basic Specs) have extremely high exhaust and are commonly piloted by Reckless rice heads who think 25 in a school zone only applies to minivans. My point? Often you'll see those of the rice persuasion at the side of the road in the company of flashing blue lights and a ticked off pig in a cowboy hat. The reason why this particular part is useless, is that it gives the cops a much better view of the Rice rocket's license plate number, and therefore they can instantly look up it's owners extensive list of vehicular wrong-doings. If anything all rice rockets should be equipped with Oil slicks to help you escape the fuzz.
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 Whale tail, as you call it. By: Sheri
The Part Fin, spoiler, thing on the back of a car.
The Why Is it really a bad part. From what I understand it is there for looks only because anyone who races with one isnt doing themselves any favors. It holds the car down, remember the pressure thing you talked about? So technically its a waste of money to have one put on or pay extra for a really big one.
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 Dash mounted tach By: FieroGuy
The Part Huge gage mounted on dash to indicate the number of revolutions per minute the engine is rotating at.
The Why Ok this wouldn't be that bad of a part if it weren't mounted in a car that has an in dash tach. Also it really looks nice in an automatic!! Oh don't forget the shift light too.
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 Strobe lights By: FieroGuy
The Part Helps make every vehicle look like a disco ball
The Why do I really need to explain??
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 Fake Side Scoops By: Mr. Mike
The Part You may see these scoops on a Civic or Integra, an integral part of many after-market body kits, built into the rocker panels or rear quarter panels. The purpose is to provide adequate airflow to keep the vehicle's mid or rear-mounted engine breathing.
The Why Common knowledge tells us that these vehicles use front-mounted engines. What is little known about these body kits is that they also provide a second engine for the rear! Trust me, nothing is as fast as a car with TWO ENGINES!
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 The Resonator (AKA Cop Attractor) By: Mr. Mike
The Part An aftermarket exhaust system addition, designed to amplify the engine sound out the tail pipe.
The Why The first problem here is that such a device un-does (to some degree) the job of another part of the exhaust system: the muffler. I say, if you want a loud engine, why not just drill a hole in the thing that's bottling up all the noise? Second, this item guarantees unwanted spectators to any street race. It would be less expensive to hire someone to flag the police down and point them in your direction!
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 Fake side panel black windows By: rusty
The Part Pure black window panel.
The Why it's fake! it's not a window at all. you can't see through it. it's a panel for looks nothing else.
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